The Rage Meter

The concept of the rage meter isn't my idea, but it has helped me scads over the years.

James Jones teaches a series called "Let's Fix the Kids." In it he talks about the rage meter. He describes what so often happened in my house. See if you recognize it:

1. Heading to my bedroom to dress for my meeting I say to the couch potatoes, "Turn off the t.v. and get the dishes washed."

2. Heading out the door to my meeting, I repeat, "I said, turn off the t.v. and wash the dishes. I want them done before I get back."

3. Returning from the meeting, "What the heck?! I told you to get the dishes done!"

4. etc., only louder

5. etc., louder still

6. Storming to the t.v., slamming it off and yelling like a banshee, "All right, I've had it! Get in there right now and get those dishes done or I'll..." Voila! Instant obedience.

James Jones talks about your level of rage. With each of these steps my rage meter goes up... and up... and up, until I blow! Who could blame me, with the frustration of all those times I asked so patiently? If I have to yell to be heard, what else can I do? Herein my very thinking defeats my attempts at patience.

James Jones explains that while it may seem the yelling did the trick, it's really the action of turning off the t.v. I tried it, and I'm here to tell my fellow ragers, desperate to be heard, Jones is right!

I may look mean when I walk up and turn off the t.v. right in the middle of a program, but I feel and look a heck of a lot nicer than when I go ballistic. What's more, the dishes actually get done!

What is it that's bumping up your rage meter? What action can you take before you bust wide open? Do something right at the beginning, while you still have the sanity and self-control to be reasonable.